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The Slant’s Obscure Packer Memories

by on Aug.05, 2009, under Commentary

Ok, I’ll admit it, I’m old.  Not ancient like some Packer fans.  I mean I never saw Curly Lambeau play and I never drafted Don Hudson for my fantasy football team, but I am up there in years, nonetheless.  I lived through the abyss that we now call the ‘70’s and ‘80’s (and I’m not just talking fashion here). So I thought it would be cool and interesting to throw some of my favorite obscure Packer memories from that time and see if anyone else knows what I’m talking about.

Packers Memories

Packers Memories

Here are my top 5:


#1: Jesse Clarke invents the bobble head.  I will never forget the time the Packers were playing the creamsicle colored Bucs and Jesse Clarke broke open over the middle and had a clear shot for the endzone.  He ran so hard that his head bobbed up and down so hard it looked like his head was going to fall off.  He did score the touchdown, but had to miss the next two weeks because he gave himself a concussion.  OK, that last part isn’t true, but I’m old, I’m allowed to exaggerate.  It’s not like your grandpa really did walk 6 miles to school each day.

#2: Pre-mature Elation.  I remember when I was growing up and Dad used to always take us to “second service” at one of the local bars every Sunday.  The grown-ups would sit at the bar, the kids would play pinball or that game where you slide the thing down the thing to get close to the edge of the thing.  But, when the Packer game started, everyone would focus on that.  The one play that I remember watching from “second service” was when Dave Hampton broke free on a kick return for a TD, but in his joy, he spiked the ball at the 2 or 3 yard line.  My fading memory tells me, the Packers still got the TD, but the memory of the reaction of everyone at the bar has not faded.

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The Slants 2009 Mock Draft (emphasis on Mock) picks 1-10

by on Feb.08, 2009, under Commentary

Yeah, yeah I know…I didn’t keep up with my weekly NFL picks this season. I’m sorry, you have to understand I never finish anything that I st

So here are my NFL draft predictions. I have done the first 10 so far and plan (yeah right) to do the next 10 next week and the next 10 the week after.

Pick #1: Detroit Lions: The Detroit Lions surprise everyone by not picking a wide receiver. New GM Lee Ioccoca goes off the board to pick QB Hishorito Suzuki a Japanese born player who Ioccoca says most people prefer to any American made QB.

NFL Draft is in April

NFL Draft is in April

Pick #2: St. Louis Rams: The Rams select Brenda Warner with this pick. Kurt’s not available, but with Brenda on the sidelines they hope to relive the glory days of the greatest show on turf.

Pick #3: Kansas City Chiefs: The Chiefs select grounds keeper Emanuel Jones a very good grounds keeper from the University of Miami, Ohio. Not only is he a very good grounds keeper but he also does not eat junk food, like snickers bars…putting and end to the long series of games with “Chefs” written in the endzone.

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The Slant (9) Week 9 Predictions and a politcal pick

by on Nov.01, 2008, under Commentary, Game Previews

Hey, at least I got them done before the games started…though I would probably get a few more right if I waited till after the games were done to make my picks.

(Byes: Carolina, New Orleans, San Diego, San Francisco): Which is a good thing, since Steve Smith is back and Shawne Merriman is hurt I usually can’t think of anything funny about any of these teams anyhow.

Bills 24 Jets 17: I bet Hillary Clinton is really torn when these two teams that the New York Senator grew up rooting for face each other.

Week #9 in the NFL

Week #9 in the NFL

Bears 49 Lions 13: I bet John McCain, who grew up wishing that a professional football franchise would be started in each of these cities, is really torn when these two teams face off. Well, at least one of them has a professional franchise now.

Jaguars 24 Bengals 7: The Lions and Bengals are scheduled to face each other in the 2009 football season. Both teams have circled that game on their calendars.

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The Slant (9) Weak 8 NFL Picks

by on Oct.24, 2008, under Game Previews, Opinion

Sorry I’m a little late with this weeks picks…stupid job and family got in the way. I’m pretty sure I can cut back on one of the two….just not sure which.

In a bold move, the NFL will now list the Detroit Lions weekly opponents among the Bye teams on their official schedule

Other Byes: Chicago, Denver, Green Bay, Minnesota

Oakland Raiders at Baltimore Ravens
Raiders 23 Ravens 21: Raider win the game on Sebastian Janikowski’s 58 yard field goal as time expires. Janikowski admits after the game that being Polish he has a huge advantage in kicking since that kick was only about 53 meters.

Arizona Cardinals at Carolina Panthers
Panthers 23 Cardinals 19: Cardinal QB Matt Leinhart steals starting

Week (Weak?) 8 in the NFL

Week (Weak?) 8 in the NFL

QB Kurt Warner’s uniform and plays the entire game as Warner. He would have gotten away with it too, but he panicked and admitted his ruse when he realized he would have to go home to Warner’s wife.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Dallas Cowboys
Buccaneers 24 Cowboys 21: After another loss distraught Cowboy owner Jerry Jones signs Michael Irvin, Moose Johnson and Troy Aikman to contracts. The Cowboys don’t get any better but many unemployed football analysts rejoice.

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The Slant (8) Week 7 NFL (now fewer laughs) Picks

by on Oct.18, 2008, under Commentary, Game Previews, Opinion

Here are my week 7 picks. It is getting harder to come up with enough different story lines each week. I’m just going to need to watch the NFL network a lot more than I currently am. I really shouldn’t have wasted all that time watching the presidential debate this week. Did anyone else notice Jeff Triplett calling McCain for a false start?

Last Week: 43.65 – 1
Season Total: My debt – My IQ

Byes: Arizona, Atlanta, Jacksonville, Philadelphia: The NFL is currently trying to use themes for its bye weeks this season. This week is Bye Bye Birdies week. Which reminds me, I need to put some more corn into my Jaguar feeders.

San Diego Chargers at Buffalo Bills
Chargers 24 Bills 21: In a throwback Sunday

NFL Week #7

NFL Week #7

both teams wear their old uniforms. The Bills go back to their 2006 uniforms and the Chargers dig into their bag of old uniforms and wear their uniforms from week 1 of 2008.

New Orleans Saints at Carolina Panthers
Saints 30 Panthers 21: Drew Brees continues to put up good numbers throwing to 27 different receivers.

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The Slant (7) NFL Picks for Week 6

by on Oct.10, 2008, under Game Previews, Opinion

Here are my week 6 picks. In a non-result prediction, I am going on record as saying that ESPN will put up a graphic this week during the Monday night game saying that that game is the first in NFL history to have “A td rushing, a td passing, a field goal, a wide receiver catching a pass with the initials BE, the wind out of the east at more than 5 miles per hour, a cheerleader with a lisp, 2 players with hiccups and a hot dog vendor who had the mumps at age 7.”

Last Weeks Picks: 547 – 5
Season Total: Dow Jones 2 weeks ago – Dow Jones now (best winning percentage ever)

Byes: Buffalo, Kansas City, Pittsburgh, Tennessee

NFL Week #6 Slate

NFL Week #6 Slate

Three of these teams have injured QB’s and really benefit from the bye. Kansas City actually does not have quarterback on their roster. Though, on a positive note, Larry Johnson does get more yards rushing this week than last.

Chicago Bears at Atlanta Falcons
Bears 23 Falcons 16: The Bears miracle season continues. If Kyle Orton keeps performing at his current level, it won’t be long before he has Bear fans forgetting about Henry Burress and Moses Moreno.

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