TimesFour

Archive for February, 2011

Super Bowl XLV Champions!!

by on Feb.08, 2011, under Commentary

(Disclaimer: the following article was written by a life-long Chicago Bears fan who did his patriotic duty and watched the Super Bowl anyway. His unbalanced remarks follow.)

So, I’m watching the Fox Sports broadcast of Super Bowl 45 (I don’t do Roman numerals. No one does Roman numerals, not even current Romans…but I digress.).

The first thing I noticed was that there was this crowd of poor, poor saps who actually paid coin of the realm to stand outside the stadium while the game was going on inside.

Seriously.

Super Bowl 45

The only dumber way to separate a fool and his money insists upon calling itself “multi-level marketing.” Somewhere, Bernie Madoff just slapped himself in the forehead.

I don’t remember anyone standing outside of Ford Field in Detroit a few years ago, mostly because Ford Field is surrounded by, y’know, Detroit. Apparently, the game was held there because Afghanistan was booked that weekend…but I digress again.

(I’ll be doing that a lot, by the way…digressing. Just so you know. Drinking lots of alcohol while watching one’s least favorite team romp in the Super Bowl results in a lot of digressing.)

So, anyway, I’m watching the pre-game nonsense, when Sam Elliott shows up and starts talking (expletive deleted) Green Bay Packers (the author pauses to spit) football. I knew it was going to be a baaaad day when, over a video clip of Jay Cutler(notes) being sacked, Elliott says, “Players who never quit.”

Ouch, babe.

(continue reading…)

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