The Toxic Slant (10) Week 10 Predictions
by Benzene on Nov.09, 2008, under Commentary, Game Previews
Warning! Nothing you read here will be funny, insightful, or in the least bit entertaining. Reading anything written by me has been know to cause headaches, nausea, low self esteem, inflated ego, vomiting, rash, and/or gastrointestinal bleeding. Consult with your physician before reading this article. Do not stare directly into this article. Do not read this article near open flames. If you are reading this article and experience anger, happiness, or indifference; immediately stop and consult a mortician.
(Byes: Bengals, Cowboys, Buccaneers, Redskins): The Bengals get a break and go undefeated this week. The Cowboys get a little extra time to sign DeAngelo Hall.
NFL Week #10
Broncos 21 Browns 9: The browns are flagged with a record number delay of game penalties as Braylon Edwards repeatedly drops his helmet on the way on to the field. He also drops 3 TD passes and 14 Gatorade cups.
Dolphins 28 Seahawks 3: Mike Holmgren is spotted working on his resume on the sideline during the game. This leads some to question if the Seahawks are getting his full effort this year.
Saints 24 Falcons 0: Before the game a few reporters remind Matt Ryan that he is only a rookie QB and is not supposed to play this well. He adjusts his play accordingly.
Texans 42 Ravens 35: Newly signed Craig Nall comes in and throws 6 TD passes to win the game. Religious leaders around the world will all agree that hell has officially frozen over.
Jets 33 Rams 27: Favre throws 1 TD and 8 INTs in the win over the Rams. After the game ESPN praises him for throwing a brilliant TD pass to win the game.
Jaguars 55 Lions 0: Lions fans go back to reminiscing about the glory days during the Wayne Fontes era. It’s not even funny anymore. It’s just sad.
Titans 35 Bears 3: If Grossman starts, everyone will be wondering which one will show up. Will it be the one that sucks, really sucks, or really really sucks?
Patriots 44 Bills 6: The Pats prove once again that it wasn’t Tom Brady that made them good, it really was the cheating all along.
Packers 21 Vikings 20: Ryan Longwell misses the game winning field goal. After the game he reveals that it wasn’t really his fault. The hold was 0.0003 degrees off center which prevented him from having a chance at making it.
Chiefs 31 Chargers 9: Head coach Norv Turner says in a press conference after the game, “I am just not a very good head coach and I have no idea why they keep giving me these chances”.
Steelers 40 Colts 7: Colts get destroyed. People question if they were focused on the game as Peyton Manning shoots 3 commercials during halftime.
Panthers 45 Raiders 0: Al Davis sets an NFL record by firing and hiring 4 coaches in one game. He was later foiled in his attempt to move the Raiders to LA in the fourth quarter.
Giants 27 Eagles 21: The Giants win in a really good game. Nothing really extraordinary happens. It’s just a normal game.
Cardinals 0 49ers 0: Mike Singletary vowed to throw every player off the field that does not play with a passion for the game. The 49ers have to forfeit when they do not have enough players to field a team.
