TimesFour

Yeah, yeah I know…I didn’t keep up with my weekly NFL picks this season. I’m sorry, you have to understand I never finish anything that I st

So here are my NFL draft predictions. I have done the first 10 so far and plan (yeah right) to do the next 10 next week and the next 10 the week after.

Pick #1: Detroit Lions: The Detroit Lions surprise everyone by not picking a wide receiver. New GM Lee Ioccoca goes off the board to pick QB Hishorito Suzuki a Japanese born player who Ioccoca says most people prefer to any American made QB.

NFL Draft is in April

Pick #2: St. Louis Rams: The Rams select Brenda Warner with this pick. Kurt’s not available, but with Brenda on the sidelines they hope to relive the glory days of the greatest show on turf.

Pick #3: Kansas City Chiefs: The Chiefs select grounds keeper Emanuel Jones a very good grounds keeper from the University of Miami, Ohio. Not only is he a very good grounds keeper but he also does not eat junk food, like snickers bars…putting and end to the long series of games with “Chefs” written in the endzone.

Pick #4: Seattle Seahawks: The Seahawks run into trouble when, in their draft war room, their internet connection goes out right before they are supposed to pick. When their dial-up doesn’t connect in time for their pick they panic and pick the first player on a hard copy list on the table…unfortunately it is an alphabetical list and they select Aaron Abbacus a 3rd string punter and accountant from Globe Business College.

Pick #5: Cleveland Browns: The Browns select LaBron James from the Cleveland Cavaliers. When James is unable to sign due to his contract with the NBA franchise the Browns GM says…”Hey, I saw it on the NFL network”.

Pick #6: Cincinnati Bengals: The Bengals definitely go with a “draft for need” in this spot as they select famous Criminal Lawyer Clarence Darrow.

Pick #7: Oakland Raiders: Fears that owner Al Davis has gone complete senile reach the breaking point as Davis shows up for the draft wearing a white jumpsuit (not unusual for him, except for the fact that he has it on backwards) and selects Center Jim Otto.

Pick #8: Jacksonville Jaguars: The Jaguars select University of Anchorage Linebacker Isaiah Freesen Mabutov. The Jaguars say its not so much that they liked him as a player but that they just felt they should share their wonderful weather with some poor unfortunate soul.

Pick #9: Green Bay Packers: In an unprecedented move, Packer GM Ted Thompson trades a portion of this pick to every other NFL team in exchange for every single pick in the 7th round of the draft.

Pick #10: San Francisco 49ers: The 49ers pick noted eye surgeon Biff Corectlivlens who is immediately put to work performing eye surgery of all the 49ers defensive players making their eyes bulge out enough that they can be seen through their helmets and intimidate the opposition.